Glasses
by Arydubhe
Summary: Levi wearing glasses seems to be enjoyable news. Not for Armin and some others who know what's behind... LEVIHAN. A pretty sad one. *written for the Comedy/tragedy challenge on AOT Amino dedicated to Shakespeare"


**Glasses**

"Have you noticed that the Captain has started wearing glasses, lately?"

"Yeah, and he looks even more handsome now... But, thinking well, it is not that surprising, he is aging as well. They call it presbyopia, don't they?"

"Really, who would have guessed that even Levi, the almighty, the strongest soldier of humanity, would have eventually get losing diopters ..."

"Shhhhhhhh! He's here!"

Jean, Sasha, Connie and Armin were chitchatting and gossiping, sitting around a table in the refectory, intent on the miserable meal that that evening was awaiting them, when Levi appeared in the hall accompanied by an unusual Rico Brzenska, surpassing them from behind.

Or better, it would have been unusual until a short while ago, but her presence around Levi had become more and more constant in the previous months…especially after the Garrison and the Legion teamed up to fight Marley. They were both Commander of their respective Corps now and it had become pretty common to see them walk around speaking, with paperwork in their hands.

"Well, sure those two really make a good couple ... Two bespectacled and cranky dwarfs ..." Jean commented, chuckling as they passed.

"I hope that either of them has not heard you, Jean, or nobody saves you from 100 rounds running around the yard with the recruits ...At best..." Connie whispered with a sob, looking over his shoulder in fear of immediate retaliation.

Jean grinned. "And here I was considering telling them...!"

"Guys ...!" Armin rebuked them dryly. His face was a portrait of disappointment and concern...

"What's up, Armin?"

"Are you telling me that you REALLY did not notice it at all?"

"Oh no, here we are again!" said Connie, rolling his eyes to the sky.

"Notice…what exactly?" asked Sasha, really interested in the discussion now that she had finished her meal.

Armin sighed.

"Those eyeglasses…belonged to "her" …"

"Do you mean? Oh…"

"Oh, very well! I am pleased to finally find someone who has realized it! Excellent job with observation, Armin, as always"

Rico's voice sneaked up on the youngsters, leaving everyone surprised, with their mouth wide open. They had failed to notice the two greeting and departing, Levi just with a simple nod before he left - plausibly, to go to his room- while Rico, a bowl on a tray, had approached them silently.

She took a seat among them, the eyes of everyone at the table fixed at her figure, partially because they didn't expect her to join them, partially because of the shock due to the revelation.

"…Did you hear everything?"

She gently smiled. "We both have, I am afraid..."

The fact that they had just made a fool of themselves wasn't even the worst part.

Not a noise was coming from the soldiers, not even the subtle sound of their breath - Connie and Sasha, anyway, weren't breathing at all.

Rico gave thanks for the meal, then, stabbing a meatball with the fork: "Your commander came to me the day after her death, with her glasses in his hand- Rico started to explain, but then she took a moment to contemplate the bite, frowning; her voice was monotone, but it was clear that she was challenging herself, struggling to maintain a composure - Levi asked me whom he could contact to have neutral lenses. I think it's clear what it means: Levi's eyesight is perfect, guys, that's not the reason why he is using those glasses."

With heroic effort, she finally managed to stick the food in her mouth, as an attempt to swallow, together with it, the bitter bite that was making her beat around the bush; those words were hard to come out… - Levi is a hurt person right know, probably more than ever and probably he has always been. And, well, everyone has his own way to deal with suffering and heal... Or hold on tightly to sorrow. Maybe he just wants to keep this object close, in order not to lose anything else of her... Not again. Who knows? For instance, I assumed it was not that much polite to ask, he didn't feel the need to get into details and our acquaintance wasn't that close by the way. Second thing, no one never really understood what was on the head of my shit-head friend: and- The rhythm of Rico's voice had become faster as she was talking, together with her tone, higher and higher; the soldiers would have sworn she was forcing herself to keep from crying- as far as we know, this could have even been some strange request of hers…she was used to do weird stuff and expect people to behave in the same way…Third, you know, Levi might have just known that we had the same optician, me and Hanji; so…"

The name of the former commander of the Scouting Legion thundered in the ears of the bystanders. Thrilling like the sudden ring of a bell.

The former Commander of the Scouting Legion, Hanji Zoe, died in the last battle against Marley, a glorious death not inferior to Erwin's, but there since her name had been a sort of taboo for anyone who knew her.

Many people lost their lives in that battle, but her death was something that impacted a lot on everyone's mood and feelings. Four months had passed since then, and now that the war against Marley was over, everyone who knew her closely as well as everybody else in the Legion were feeling a huge hole in their heart, the one that Hanji used to fill with her extrovert personality and exuberant attitude. She had been a great commander until the end, caring and considerate. She really exhausted her life for the benefit of every single soldier in the army that brought down the enemy, planning, making her own life at risk, sacrificing herself in the end. It was so strange not to be able to see and hear her gangly figure toggling around the rooms of the headquarter anymore, shouting orders and making jokes at the same time. Her absence was a huge weight that went to ruin the so hard-earned victory. Because with her gone, there was no one left that was as good as her at cheering up people and finding the beautiful side of everything- struggles, left-to-do work, blames and failures included. Because yes, they had won…but the price to pay had been heavy for everyone, for someone more than others.

"I don't know how you couldn't see that…- Armin said to his comrades, sincerely surprised by their lack of heed- I've got a lump in my throat since the first day I saw the Commander Levi wearing her glasses for the first time…"

"They were talking about marriage- timidly took the floor Mikasa - Levi confessed that to me just right before that…well, you know..."

She had been listening to her comrades talking and rambling all that time from her corner, in silence. She already knew everything about the glasses because Levi himself told her everything. The strange "relationship" that she had been entertaining with Levi since Eren's death was still something hard to believe for her in first place. But it was good to understand that there is still a relative around when you think everything you hold dear is lost, and that Levi eventually ended up being for Mikasa after the battle, as a sort of "uncle". Both of them lost the most important person they had in the war. A reason that was sufficient enough to make all the past hatred go away, replaced by mere understanding and compassion.

"They were tired of war, pain, death, blood – she continued - they had enough long before…but they never found the strength to leave everything up to the others, entrusting everything to the new generations and such…They didn't feel ok with the idea of just washing their hands of the world around them. They had spent, invested and dedicated too much of their life for humanity's freedom and survival. They wanted to be there, 'till the end…"

"We were in the same Training Corps, me and Hanji, you know? - Rico said – We had been placed in the same headquarter, same barrack, same room. We were good friends despite the differences between our ambitions and aims - but was it possible not to be her friend, after all? Joining different Corps didn't help us to keep in contact as much as we might have liked to do, unfortunately, plus her working rhythm was basically inhuman. I have waited a whole month sometimes to receive just a letter from her. But her life pace in general was so messed up…however no matter how much time passed since she saw you last, Hanji was always ready to welcome you with a huge smile and a witty greeting, as if nothing had changed…at least, not for her…and there you could only go with her and follow her lead…a true force of nature…I miss her so much…"

"We all do…"

"Thus, as I get it, you can perfectly understand the extent of Levi's loss now. So, please, be considerate with his sorrow. I don't know the reasons behind the decision to use those pair of glasses – I can only guess. But something must have happened between Levi and Hanji involving them, a promise, maybe or something like a will…- she stated, the meal finished, placing the fork in the bowl – so don't bring up the topic for fun, please. Or you will meet my rage even before Levi's. And don't call us a couple ever again, Jean. But I am happy that Levi has found someone to talk with from time to time …and, I am sorry for Eren." Rico concluded, taking Mikasa hand. She grabbed the woman's gently.

Then, Rico left them alone.

Nobody had the strength to say anything for a very long time. Only after several minutes they heard Connie's voice, gloomy, exclaiming: "Holy crap ...I feel like shit. "

Everyone nodded. But Jean suddenly stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Sasha.

"Outside. I have at least 1000 runs to do."

"But Rico... "

"That pays me off... "

Sasha and Connie shared a quick glance before sighing: "Wait, we're coming with you..."

"Brats" commented Levi as he entered his room.

He loved those guys - in his own way - but in all those years they had not yet learned to take the opportunity to be quiet and mind their business.

Because yes, he had heard everything too, yeah.

He threw himself on the bed, abandoning the tired bones on the mattress. From that position, he started staring at the ceiling, meditating. On one thing his soldiers were right: he was really beginning to age, he was feeling it in every part of his tired body.

He took his glasses out of his nose with a sacral gesture and held them tightly in his hands, contemplating them for a second before placing them on the pillow next to him, while with the other hand he massaged the two deep red marks left on his nose by the nasals.

Levi had asked himself more than once, in those days, how Hanji had managed to live her entire life with that stuff on his eyes. He found that frame exceedingly uncomfortable in his opinion... And if he thought about how massive the Hanji's googles were, his wonder became even bigger.

Maybe, if you wear them since young, you get used to it eventually ... and Hanji told him once that she had always been a for-eyes since she was a child. Or maybe, if you need glasses, you just get into terms with them. It was the only logical conclusion that could explain to him why anyone would torment and torture his own nose.

"I wonder how heavy her googles were ...- he said, turning to caress the oval frame of the glasses - even the lenses, beyond the weight of the frame, were much thicker than these ..."

And yet, he had seen them shattered so many times…

 _"Heck, this is the fourth pair I break this month!" Hanji was shouting one day, in a plaintive tone, disconsolately holding his googles to show them to Levi "now I'm getting poor by substituting lenses over and over!"_

 _"I do not remember you've ever been rich before, with the meager salary of a soldier... And for the rest, If I were you I would rather give thanks that this time as well no glass shards haven't entered your eyes ..." Levi objected._

 _"You are always so optimistic, right?" she grunted, piqued._

 _He just narrowed his eyes: "No, but I still have clear on my mind the terror painted on Moblit's face yesterday, when he saw you with a half-bleeding face and google glasses all cracked…"_

 _"Moblit is always exaggerating, I'm not a pivot!"_

 _"You are the one who always lessens things…Do not mistake your pure blind fortune, not to say your rotten luck, for skills…"_

 _"It's not my fault, though, if I'm blind without glasses ... And anyway, these lenses are especially made to scratch themselves instead of breaking ... I invented them on purpose to avoid exactly what you say you and Moblit are afraid could happen... they are resistant to impacts and scrapes ... Sometimes it happens that some cracks form, but ... "_

 _"Here, now I'm relieved ... now you have really convinced me!" Levi commented sarcastically. But he was sincerely worried and added - Seriously, you should try to find another solution ..."_

 _But Hanji smiled at him. "I'd took care nothing bad happens. Otherwise I'd lose part of the fun, you know? You could not call me shitty glasses or four eyes any longer ..."_

However, one day, years later, his doubts - and those of Moblit - become reality. An explosion from a titan-shifter transformation was enough to take away Moblit's life and Hanji's left eye.

 _"If one day I die ..." Hanji had begun to say to Levi when he returned from the funeral of his assistant, they were alone in Levi's room._

 _"Do not say something like that, moron" Levi interrupted her. A lot of things had changed in the meantime between them. He and Hanji had discovered the truth about the world where they lived – the nature of titans, the role of Marley, the existence of a whole world outside the walls- but things had changed especially between the two of them: they had finally understood that they had fallen in love, something more fundamental from a certain point of view; or perhaps even better, that they had ended up representing the only security for each other, the only safety they'll never fail to find again when coming back from the battlefield ... Levi simply could not even hear such words, think about that possibility: it was an eventuality that Levi would have never been glad to survive to see._

 _"If I were to die one day- she continued nevertheless -Don't mind about the symbol of the legion. Your drawer is already full of patches of the comrades you've lost…"_

 _It was true. It had become Levi's habit to preserve the patches that was sewn on the left sleeves of all the legion uniforms of his deceased underlings. He had done so with Erwin's too ... And he was keeping them all in a drawer in his desk. They were all in a box, but year after year they had become more and more -so that now they were split in three boxes. He did not know that Hanji was aware of them._

 _"I told you to stop rummaging in my stuff! Learn to tidy up yours instead..." he snapped, offended, at that realization._

 _"Shup up, clean-freak, and listen!" Hanji's impatient and menacing tone made Levi understand that she had something she felt really important to say. She was completely serious for once._

 _Hanji pulled the googles out of her pocket. They had been repaired again._

 _"If "that" was ever to happen, I would be glad if these could become yours ... They have seen any sort of things, and not because they are glasses. They have always been with me, for better or for worse, since I joined the Corps and even before. They are part of me. So, well, I wish you may have them, to remember me…obviously if it's possible… you know, just in case you can recover them. I could be swallowed as a whole by a titan and in that case bye bye, me and the googles Ahahha!" Then she laughed from the bottom of her heart._

 _The consequences of the last incident had evidently left a deep scar on her – not also on her face, but in her heart. Levi could detect her pain in every word she spoke and the real fear to be the next one to go. She was doing her testament there._

 _Levi nodded, and Hanji placed the googles around her head, smiling at him, brighter as ever: "That's only if they were to lose their owner, of course. By now, they're still going to stay with me."_

 _"So, you still haven't find any solution to see without those things around your eyes?" he asked, looking at the eyepatch she was now forced to wear._

 _Hanji shook her head. "Unfortunately, not."_

Levi could not recover the googles in the end, for real. But Hanji had considered that scenario and, provident as she was, she made sure to make him have her normal pair of glasses at least.

 _"You can do whatever you want ..." she said to him that day. "Of both pairs. You can also sell them, in case, they are objects of a certain value. Of course, from the afterlife I will not get angry or come to persecute you ... or rather, if I come back as a ghost, sure it will not be for that reason!"_

But he would have never done something like that: those glasses were really everything she left.

The decision to wear them in his stead came to his mind suddenly one day. He didn't want to leave them just languish in his drawer. They belonged to Hanji, the person who didn't even know what the word "rest" meant. So, he asked Rico to help him find the optician Hanji used to go to.

Obviously, Levi jealously kept Hanji's lenses he replaced. They alone were wrapped in a cloth in that drawer along with the patches of the other deceased companions and Isabel's sweets. Which were Hanji's sweets to remember carefully, because Hanji was the one who gave them to her before the expedition begun, that day when he, Farlan and Isabel went out of the walls for the first time, the day when his first two friends died. Hanji was the first person to welcome them all in the Legion, to be kind and accept them. Since then, Levi understood, all of him had been Hanji's.

His hopes.

His efforts.

His joys.

The lenses were fogging behind the lenses of the glasses he had placed on his nose once again, as he was thinking. He was now sitting at his desk, Hanji's lenses in his hands. Tears were falling down his face.

"I understand why Hanji hated crying ... this is also inconvenient"

He had also admired Hanji for that reason as well. No matter what happened, she had always known how to find a word of comfort for anyone, a smile even in the darkest moments; pretend to enjoy happiness even when she barely remembered what that word meant. Because she was like that. The one who pretends to be stronger, always, to find the strength ... or at least give it to others.

He stared outside the window. From that position he could see his soldiers running in circle in the barrack plaza.

"What are they…"

"Sorry, commander" was written on their arm, he noticed, surprised.

In that moment someone knocked at his door.

"Come in- he said- Oh, Rico, it's you."

"I just brought you some tea... And, well, I came here to tell you... don't be harsh with the kids, they are just silly young... "

"I won't. After all it seems like you already served them well... "

"What do you mean?"

Levi pinpointed at the window. "Wasn't this your doing?"

Rico took a moment to stare at the soldiers, the writes and Jean now shouting loud "120", before smiling. She shook her head.

"Believe me Levi I didn't give them any punishment. They decided it all alone... And looks like they aim to 1000. They are definitely good soldiers, just a little dumb..."

Then she said goodbye and left him alone again.

Levi's tears were coming down again, smearing the cloth and the old lenses. A tear fell on a fourth object in package he took from the drawer, a small, round circle and made the stone embedded in it gleam.

"You would have been proud of him, Hanji. "

It was the gold ring with which Levi had intended to ask her to marry him.

-author's corner-

This story was created for a challenge on the AOT Amino (see post /c/attack-on-titan/page/blog/ctcc-glasses-collab-challenge/RRKo_Vqtwu6bno1LaxJrlPVJ4PdDGzDpxM).

Cover img by .vOKIEv.

Hope you liked it!


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